Dear Fight the New Drug,

Thank you for your efforts in freeing the world of sexual exploitation, destroyed relationships, and damaged minds.

Today is my anniversary. Yes, my wedding anniversary, but also the anniversary of D Day, or Discovery Day. That is a term, among a multitude of others that I never wanted to learn.

Two years ago today, I came home from transporting children to events. My husband was away at a holiday party for work. After tucking the kids in, I sat at the computer to pay bills. I noticed an odd legal pad on the desk. As I perused the notes in my husband’s writing, I was shocked to see lists of women’s names, ages (most under 19), bra sizes, occupations (strippers, porn performers, and even a fitness instructor like myself), and favorite sexual positions.

In shock, I attempted to reach him for an explanation. I was told he would be home soon to explain.

Hours later I went to bed, sobbing and confused. When he finally arrived, he tried to sneak into bed. We talked all night, when I was fed a watered-down version of his porn obsession that led to him playing an online sexual dating game that I discovered that evening. I didn’t even receive a note on a napkin for my anniversary.

A year and a half later, I demanded full disclosure from him. So much time had been wasted, and now, I was in deep despair, knowing how severe his addiction had been and how it affected his daily life.

I have been through a great deal in my life, including domestic violence and divorce. This is by far the most challenging. The healing process is long and slow. You lose trust in your partner, trust in yourself, precious time, hope for the future you had planned, the relationship you had built, and mostly—but rarely discussed—your own sexuality.

We are both in recovery. It is exhausting and requires many hours and much work. I don’t know if I will ever be okay again. I don’t know if I will ever regain the sexuality that porn has selfishly stolen from me. But, I am thankful to Fight The New Drug for your work in preventing others from losing relationships and true sexuality that cannot be found on a screen.

To read rest of the article, go to:

https://fightthenewdrug.org/my-partner-and-i-are-going-through-recovery/