The Key to Having an Adult Relationship
By Steven Stosny, Ph.D.
Courtesy of Psychology Today
It turns toddler love into fulfilling mature connection.
We fall in love in the Toddler brain, the emotional, impulsive, and volatile limbic system, which reaches structural maturity by age 3. We stay in love in the profoundest and most stable part of the Adult brain — the prefrontal cortex, which reaches full myelination at around 28. Toddler love is filled with wonder and joy at first, but inevitably reeks of conflict and pain due to its self-obsession and inability to see other people’s perspectives. Adult love rises from our deepest, most humane values of compassion, kindness, and nurturance, based on the ability to understand our partners’ perspectives. For adults in love, being protective is more important than being protected.
Did you ever wonder how we can be sophisticated adults at work and in friendships, yet struggle to maintain simple adult behaviors at home, like negotiation and cooperation? We’re more likely to slip into the Toddler brain in family relationships because love exposes our deepest vulnerabilities in ways that most of us haven’t experienced since toddlerhood. No one can “push emotional buttons” as easily as loved ones.
While toddlers are powerless over their own emotional states, […]
Sandy Bober shares her personal testimony about being raped in college, her infection with an STD and her struggles and ultimate victory to regain her self-esteem, healthy relationships and a successful marriage.
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We look forward to hearing from YOU which articles were meaningful and also about what you have learned from your own life experience, whether that was a top-of-the mountain joy or a relationship disaster!
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Inspirational Quotes
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By Julianne Ross January 29, 2015
Courtesy of MLC.com
Susan Sontag famously wrote, “Nothing is mysterious, no human relation, except love.”
She had a point. Philosophers have argued over the meaning of love for millennia, but a glance at literary history gives us the beginnings of a definition: Love can be a connection to something greater than ourselves, or the thing that shows us who we really are. It is the oldest feeling in the world, yet somehow always feels new. It is patient and kind, yet requires relentless dedicationand hard work. It is at once our most comforting
Cool at 13, Adrift at 23
By Jan Hoffman, June 23, 2014
Courtesy of NY Times
At 13, they were viewed by classmates with envy, admiration and not a little awe. The girls wore makeup, had boyfriends and went to parties held by older students. The boys boasted about sneaking beers on a Saturday night and swiping condoms from the local convenience store.
They were cool. They were good-looking. They were so not you.
Whatever happened to them?
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