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In Relationships, Respect May Be Even More Crucial than Love

Love is not all you need, nor all your spouse or child needs; consider respect.

By Peter Gray Ph.D.
Courtesy of Psychology Today

If you were to ask me if my parents loved me, I would, like Tevye and Golda in Fiddler on the Roof, have to pause and think.

In the family I grew up in, love was a term used rather exclusively as the valediction in friendly letters.  It was rarely said aloud. We also weren’t big on hugging or kissing.  It was awkward for me when I left home and entered a different culture, where people regularly hug and kiss at greetings and goodbyes whether or not they actually love one another. I still feel a bit awkward about it.

Praise—sometimes taken to be an expression of love—was likewise nearly absent in the family I grew up in.  The self-esteem movement, thank goodness, hadn’t yet begun; or, if it had, my parents didn’t know about it or didn’t approve of it.  They would have considered it unseemly to tell me or my siblings that we were wonderful, smart, or special, and even more unseemly to brag about us to others. In fact, I think my mother had an […]

September 20th, 2019|News Articles|

Sandy Bober shares her personal testimony about being raped in college, her infection with an STD and her struggles and ultimate victory to regain her self-esteem, healthy relationships and a successful marriage.

Here at Love Smarts, we would like to share helpful information including personal stories of relationship successes and failures, insights from psychology and human experience about what leads to lasting love relationships.

We look forward to hearing from YOU which articles were meaningful and also about what you have learned from your own life experience, whether that was a top-of-the mountain joy or a relationship disaster!

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