Be "Love Smart" in a love-challenged world!

Home2024-02-27T02:16:42+00:00

12 QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE MARRIAGE

1. Is the person your best friend or at least becoming so?

It is easy to get excited about a new person. But if you cannot say that the person you are considering marrying has become or is becoming your best friend, you need to figure out why before you decide to marry. This is probably the single most overlooked question among couples, especially young ones.

And for good reason. Many people cannot not answer this in the affirmative. But you have to answer it. Over time, friendship is the greatest bond between a couple. If the person you marry does not become your best friend, you will either seek someone who will be or simply drift apart.

What is a best friend? Someone you can and do tell just about everything to. Someone you want to be with as much as possible. And someone you need. One of the most devastating ideas of the last generation was that needing or depending upon another person is a sign of weakness. The opposite is true. The inability to need is a sign of weakness — you are afraid to relinquish power or afraid to be hurt.

2. Do you enjoy each other?

This sounds trite, but […]

December 24th, 2021|News Articles|

Sandy Bober shares her personal testimony about being raped in college, her infection with an STD and her struggles and ultimate victory to regain her self-esteem, healthy relationships and a successful marriage.

Here at Love Smarts, we would like to share helpful information including personal stories of relationship successes and failures, insights from psychology and human experience about what leads to lasting love relationships.

We look forward to hearing from YOU which articles were meaningful and also about what you have learned from your own life experience, whether that was a top-of-the mountain joy or a relationship disaster!

The Institute for Relationship Intelligence is a 501c3 nonprofit organization (EIN 22-3301766). All donations are deeply appreciated and tax-deductible.

Inspirational Quotes

Recent Articles

Join Forces to Quell Your Inner Critic

November 27th, 2019|News Articles|

Most people know it — even kid about it; that they are their own worst enemy. They are critical of themselves in ways they would never be of others. And when they stop long enough to pay attention, they can also acknowledge that they are the worse for all of that self-chastising. The problem is that, too often, they don’t try to stop, or don’t know how.

Those who are masters at self-criticism often create relationship problems with it. Consider Nancy. She is a very nice woman who had a caring boyfriend, Steve. The problem is that she tends to doubt […]

In Relationships, Respect May Be Even More Crucial than Love

September 20th, 2019|News Articles|

Love is not all you need, nor all your spouse or child needs; consider respect.

By Peter Gray Ph.D.
Courtesy of Psychology Today

If you were to ask me if my parents loved me, I would, like Tevye and Golda in Fiddler on the Roof, have to pause and think.

In the family I grew up in, love was a term used rather exclusively as the valediction in friendly letters.  It was rarely said aloud. We also weren’t big on hugging or kissing.  It was awkward for me when I left home and entered a different culture, where people regularly […]