Testimonies

Bayonne HS Student Responses to LoveSmarts Education

LoveSmarts Presenter Linda Doering: 11th – 12th-grade students participated in an anonymous presentations evaluation. These selected responses reflect the overall trend of student comments. None were negative:

Female Student Responses

1. I liked how Ms. Linda explained how relationships could fail and how you can make them last. It helped me think twice about any decision I will make with my partner… I think LoveSmarts makes you think about the choices you’ll make in the future; you can prevent any regrets and reach for a healthy and respectful relationship. 11th
2. I enjoyed learning about real love and how to know when that begins. The Activities and Presentations helped me look at my relationship with my partner to see if I’m on the right path. I think LoveSmarts allows people to point out flaws in themselves & their relationships and helps them strive for better. 11th
3. LoveSmarts tells it as it is. I learned that there is no shame in being a virgin. Also many people regret about having sex before marriage. It helped me to clarify for me that getting my purity ring was more meaningful and to not get pressured by the people who make fun of me for having it. I think LoveSmarts is a good program for when people pressure you. Also, if you’re not […]
   

1. In your opinion, what are the key qualities of a healthy romantic relationship?

A healthy romantic relationship incorporates maturity. A lot of teens don’t understand that just because someone is older doesn’t necessarily mean they’re more mature. A good relationship starts with friendship as well as trust. Those are the two components that determine whether two people are truly compatible. Viewing one another as equals is an extremely important aspect in a romantic relationship to make ensure each partner’s voice is heard as well as understood.

2. Is it possible to be attracted to or even have strong feelings for someone who you really don’t know much about?

Yes, it is possible to be attracted to someone who keeps things hidden. It’s a part of human nature to be curious about one another. People often question others actions or try and decrypt a deeper meaning. Many teenagers fall in love with celebrities they’ve never met. The emotions they feel are a form of superficial love stemming from images, videos, sound recordings and overall an idea of what the person may be like. Not knowing someone very well allows room for an entire fantasy to fill in the blanks for reality causing a deeper attraction.

3. Why do you think some teens play games, use or manipulate romantic partners? Are they likely to have successful relationships when they get older?

Some teens may play games because they’ve been hurt by past partners. For fear of losing one person, they keep multiple partners around to satisfy […]

At the age of 13, I knew that viewing pornography was wrong, but after one particular day at school in which my classmates had berated me for not looking at it, I had begun to question my own sexuality. Wanting to prove to myself that I was interested in women, I decided to search online for seemingly innocent images of women. However, it was not long before I started searching for increasingly graphic images and eventually pornographic images and videos. Initially, I felt sick to my stomach after binging on these images, but after weeks of viewing the pang of my conscience began to subside. From that point on, I went to porn when I felt that I could not deal with my emotions. Often, when I felt alone, friendless, angry, inadequate, bored, or hopeless I went online to find images of women to make myself forget. Depression and thoughts of suicide were often followed by bouts of searching for pornography and masturbation. Until the age of 22, I was regularly watching porn every day.

Throughout these years of self-abuse, I knew that porn and masturbation were harmful and that I was causing myself to going into deeper emotional pain. Despite this knowledge, I was helpless and unable to quit cycles of anger, porn, masturbation, regret, and self-loathing. Every time I went through this cycle, I promised to myself that I would quit, but I would always repeat it within days. Within the span of 9 years, I could only maintain […]

Dear LoveSmarts,

I am a mother to a beautiful 5 week old baby. I love my son with all my heart but like so many I wish I would have had him 5 years down the road to a man that I was married to. I cannot give my son the cool toys every other kids have, I cannot give him the father that he deserves because he’s not around anymore, I cannot give my son alot of things that he deserves and that makes me sad. I can only give him all my love and raise him to not make the mistakes that his mother made.

Like so many teenagers I thought that drugs and sex were cool, so that’s how I lived my life. I was not carefree, I was reckless. I started dating a guy and our relationship was based on sex. Those are the worst relationships to have. We broke up because we had nothing in common but physical attraction. 6 weeks later I found out I was preg­nant. He said that he would be there for me. He lied. I had to face the world alone and pregnant.

I had the support of my mom and my best friend, which helped, but every pregnant woman needs the father to stand by her to make it really ok. I struggled to save up enough money by myself working 50+ hours a week and that was hell since i was pregnant. Many of my friends deserted me cause what teen […]