Here at Love Smarts, we would like to share helpful information including personal stories of relationship successes and failures, insights from psychology and human experience about what leads to lasting love relationships.

We look forward to hearing from YOU which articles were meaningful and also about what you have learned from your own life experience, whether that was a top-of-the mountain joy or a relationship disaster!

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Dear LoveSmarts,

I am a mother to a beautiful 5 week old baby. I love my son with all my heart but like so many I wish I would have had him 5 years down the road to a man that I was married to. I cannot give my son the cool toys every other kids have, I cannot give him the father that he deserves because he’s not around anymore, I cannot give my son alot of things that he deserves and that makes me sad. I can only give him all my love and raise him to not make the mistakes that his mother made.

Like so many teenagers I thought that drugs and sex were cool, so that’s how I lived my life. I was not carefree, I was reckless. I started dating a guy and our relationship was based on sex. Those are the worst relationships to have. We broke up because we had nothing in common but physical attraction. 6 weeks later I found out I was preg­nant. He said that he would be there for me. He lied. I had to face the world alone and pregnant.

I had the support of my mom and my best friend, which helped, but every pregnant woman needs the father to stand by her to make it really ok. I struggled to save up enough money by myself working 50+ hours a week and that was hell since i was pregnant. Many of my friends deserted me cause what teen wants to hang out with a preg­nant girl? For 9 months i lived in fear and excite­ment of what was to come, but mainly fear.

Finally the big day came. For all who girls who are having sex, I want you to realize that labor is the most pain you will EVER experience. I will say that it is worth it once you look into the innocent eyes of your baby for the first time. Raising a baby is hard. I have no time to socialize with the few friends I have and what money I have goes to diapers and formula. You will be sleep deprived and that once-beautiful figure you had is re­placed with huge hips and stretch marks…battle wounds, as I like to call them. I can’t say this for all cases, but in most the father will not be there. My son has not seen his father since the day he was born and I could’ve prevented that had I waited until I was married.

I would not give up my son for the world but I will never be able to give him the world, and ev­ery child deserves that. If you care about your future children you will wait. And don’t think that socalled “protection” always works, cause i used protection and it obviously didn’t. Good luck!


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