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Here at Love Smarts, we would like to share helpful information including personal stories of relationship successes and failures, insights from psychology and human experience about what leads to lasting love relationships.

We look forward to hearing from YOU which articles were meaningful and also about what you have learned from your own life experience, whether that was a top-of-the mountain joy or a relationship disaster!

The Institute for Relationship Intelligence is a 501c3 nonprofit organization (EIN 22-3301766). All donations are deeply appreciated and tax-deductible.

Sandy Bober shares her personal testimony about being raped in college, her infection with an STD and her struggles and ultimate victory to regain her self-esteem, healthy relationships and a successful marriage.

Recent Articles

American Sexual Health Association: STI Statistics

May 10th, 2018|0 Comments

STIs One in two sexually active persons will contract an STI by age 25. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that nearly 20 million new STIs occur every year in this country, [...]

Harvey Weinstein Isn’t Unusual: Sexual Abuse and Trafficking in the United States

April 23rd, 2018|0 Comments

By Mary Rose Somarriba Courtesy of The Public Discourse The latest Harvey Weinstein allegation reminds us that, around the world and here in the United States, sex trafficking is closer than it appears. The domestic [...]

Disadvantages of Teenage Pregnancy

April 11th, 2018|0 Comments

By Erin Monahan - June 13, 2017 https://www.livestrong.com/article/279393-disadvantages-of-teenage-pregnancy/ Teen pregnancy is life changing. While most teen pregnancies are unplanned, even a planned pregnancy has risks and potential complications. While teen pregnancy rates have declined over [...]

Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being

April 4th, 2018|0 Comments

Feeling sad, mad, critical or otherwise awful? Surprise: negative emotions are essential for mental health. By Tori Rodriguez on May 1, 2013 https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/negative-emotions-key-well-being/ A client sits before me, seeking help untangling his relationship problems. As [...]

Premarital sex with one partner substantially increases the odds of divorce

March 21st, 2018|0 Comments

Nicholas H. Wolfinger reported on the Institute of Family Studies website the relationship between the number of premarital partners and divorce, and the trends analyzed in the 1980's, 1990's, and 2000's all show the same trend: "Premarital [...]

The message from the Aziz Ansari controversy is clear

January 26th, 2018|0 Comments

Photo courtesy of babe.net. The Aziz Ansari controversy, covered by babe.net, regarding a date gone seriously awry has made their rounds around various news outlets, with stories such as “Amid Aziz Ansari accusations, singles say [...]


Teens Speak Out

April 20th, 2017|0 Comments

1. In your opinion, what are the key qualities of a healthy romantic relationship?

A healthy romantic relationship incorporates maturity. A lot of teens don’t understand that just because someone is older doesn’t necessarily mean they’re more mature. A good relationship starts with friendship as well as trust. Those are the two components that determine whether two people are truly compatible. Viewing one another as equals is an extremely important aspect in a romantic relationship to make ensure each partner’s voice is heard as well as understood.

2. Is it possible to be attracted to or even have strong feelings for someone who you really don’t know much about?

Yes, it is possible to be attracted to someone who keeps things hidden. It’s a part of human nature to be curious about one another. People often question others actions or try and decrypt a deeper meaning. Many teenagers fall in love with celebrities they’ve never met. The emotions they feel are a form of superficial love stemming from images, videos, sound recordings and overall an idea of what the person may be like. Not knowing someone very well allows room for an entire fantasy to fill in the blanks for reality causing a deeper attraction.

3. Why do you think some teens play games, use or manipulate romantic partners? Are they likely to have successful relationships when they get older?

Some teens may play games because they’ve been hurt by past partners. For fear of losing one person, they keep multiple partners around to satisfy […]

My Struggle With Pornography

October 19th, 2016|0 Comments

At the age of 13, I knew that viewing pornography was wrong, but after one particular day at school in which my classmates had berated me for not looking at it, I had begun to question my own sexuality. Wanting to prove to myself that I was interested in women, I decided to search online for seemingly innocent images of women. However, it was not long before I started searching for increasingly graphic images and eventually pornographic images and videos. Initially, I felt sick to my stomach after binging on these images, but after weeks of viewing the pang of my conscience began to subside. From that point on, I went to porn when I felt that I could not deal with my emotions. Often, when I felt alone, friendless, angry, inadequate, bored, or hopeless I went online to find images of women to make myself forget. Depression and thoughts of suicide were often followed by bouts of searching for pornography and masturbation. Until the age of 22, I was regularly watching porn every day.

Throughout these years of self-abuse, I knew that porn and masturbation were harmful and that I was causing myself to going into deeper emotional pain. Despite this knowledge, I was helpless and unable to quit cycles of anger, porn, masturbation, regret, and self-loathing. Every time I went through this cycle, I promised to myself that I would quit, but I would always repeat it within days. Within the span of 9 years, I could only maintain […]