Home 2017-12-08T16:50:49+00:00

Here at Love Smarts, we would like to share helpful information including personal stories of relationship successes and failures, insights from psychology and human experience about what leads to lasting love relationships.

We look forward to hearing from YOU which articles were meaningful and also about what you have learned from your own life experience, whether that was a top-of-the mountain joy or a relationship disaster!

The Institute for Relationship Intelligence is a 501c3 nonprofit organization (EIN 22-3301766). All donations are deeply appreciated and tax-deductible.

Sandy Bober shares her personal testimony about being raped in college, her infection with an STD and her struggles and ultimate victory to regain her self-esteem, healthy relationships and a successful marriage.

Recent Articles

Choose to Be Grateful. It Will Make You Happier.

November 21st, 2015|0 Comments

By Arthur C. Brooks, Nov. 21, 2015 Courtesy of NY Times TWENTY-FOUR years ago this month, my wife and I married in Barcelona, Spain. Two weeks after our wedding, flush with international idealism, I had [...]

What’s Really Hot on Dating Sites? Proper Grammar

October 1st, 2015|0 Comments

By Georgia Wells, Oct. 1, 2015 Courtesy of Wall Street Journal When Jeff Cohen was getting ready to meet his OkCupid date for drinks in Manhattan, he started to have second thoughts as he reread the [...]

The Good Dad: The Transformative Power of Fatherhood for Men and Children

July 15th, 2015|0 Comments

Drawing on his new book, "Gender and Parenthood: Biological and Social Scientific Perspectives" (Columbia, 2013), W. Bradford Wilcox details the ways in which fatherhood is a transformative experience for men, both biologically and socially. He [...]

Chicken and egg dilemma about the decline in marriage

March 5th, 2015|1 Comment

By Janice Shaw Crouse, March 5, 2015 Courtesy of Washington Times Just as relentless, powerful winds and waves pounding against a strong sea wall can over time bring it down, the institution of the family today [...]

Abstinence Education In Context

February 17th, 2015|0 Comments

Two experts in character-based sexuality education, Dr. Thomas Lickona and Dr. Stan Weed, have written an outstanding comparison of a risk avoidance (abstinence) approach with a risk reduction (comprehensive) approach.  For anyone who wishes to [...]

A Psychiatrist’s Letter to Young People About 50 Shades of Grey

February 13th, 2015|0 Comments

Miriam Grossman, M.D., child and adolescent psychiatrist www.miriamgrossmanmd.com There’s nothing gray about Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s all black. I help people who are broken inside. I ask questions, and listen carefully to the answers. One [...]

Testimony

Teens Speak Out

April 20th, 2017|Comments Off on Teens Speak Out

1. In your opinion, what are the key qualities of a healthy romantic relationship?

A healthy romantic relationship incorporates maturity. A lot of teens don’t understand that just because someone is older doesn’t necessarily mean they’re more mature. A good relationship starts with friendship as well as trust. Those are the two components that determine whether two people are truly compatible. Viewing one another as equals is an extremely important aspect in a romantic relationship to make ensure each partner’s voice is heard as well as understood.

2. Is it possible to be attracted to or even have strong feelings for someone who you really don’t know much about?

Yes, it is possible to be attracted to someone who keeps things hidden. It’s a part of human nature to be curious about one another. People often question others actions or try and decrypt a deeper meaning. Many teenagers fall in love with celebrities they’ve never met. The emotions they feel are a form of superficial love stemming from images, videos, sound recordings and overall an idea of what the person may be like. Not knowing someone very well allows room for an entire fantasy to fill in the blanks for reality causing a deeper attraction.

3. Why do you think some teens play games, use or manipulate romantic partners? Are they likely to have successful relationships when they get older?

Some teens may play games because they’ve been hurt by past partners. For fear of losing one person, they keep multiple partners around to satisfy […]

My Struggle With Pornography

October 19th, 2016|0 Comments

At the age of 13, I knew that viewing pornography was wrong, but after one particular day at school in which my classmates had berated me for not looking at it, I had begun to question my own sexuality. Wanting to prove to myself that I was interested in women, I decided to search online for seemingly innocent images of women. However, it was not long before I started searching for increasingly graphic images and eventually pornographic images and videos. Initially, I felt sick to my stomach after binging on these images, but after weeks of viewing the pang of my conscience began to subside. From that point on, I went to porn when I felt that I could not deal with my emotions. Often, when I felt alone, friendless, angry, inadequate, bored, or hopeless I went online to find images of women to make myself forget. Depression and thoughts of suicide were often followed by bouts of searching for pornography and masturbation. Until the age of 22, I was regularly watching porn every day.

Throughout these years of self-abuse, I knew that porn and masturbation were harmful and that I was causing myself to going into deeper emotional pain. Despite this knowledge, I was helpless and unable to quit cycles of anger, porn, masturbation, regret, and self-loathing. Every time I went through this cycle, I promised to myself that I would quit, but I would always repeat it within days. Within the span of 9 years, I could only maintain […]